I write because I want people to somehow feel my exact sentiments in a moment of uncertainty or absurdity. I write because I want to share my thoughts with the minds reading my inscriptions. I write because I want to put descriptions to impulses or ideas that may be difficult for others. I write because I want people to know the beauty of words again.
But right now I'm not sure I want others to know how I am feeling in response to his demise.
For those who are unaware, my 9th grade World Geography teacher is in critical condition, and his last weeks on Earth have brought a wave of despondency on everyone. Cancer is the worst villain I have ever encountered via a loved one. My grandmother died last year as a result of cancer, and now Mr. Fowler is fighting for his life against this monstrous threat. Nothing about this is fair. Nothing about this is right. Nothing about this is justified.
A wife and three children under the age of three are going to suffer endlessly; A school filled with students, staff and teachers are going to be without a wonderful mentor and colleague; A mother and father are losing a spectacular son; And the world is saying goodbye to one of the most genuine and caring individuals to ever grace its surface.
Dear Kids,
I want you to know that your father changed my life. I want you to know that every day he taught me something new regarding the geography of the world, I became more inspired to travel to the places he would talk about and experience new surroundings. I want you to know that he was one of the greatest men I have ever known, and I am eternally grateful to have had the opportunity to know him at all. He was happy. There wasn't a day I didn't walk by his classroom that he didn't smile at me or crack a joke. And while the majority of these jokes were barely funny, I laughed because he laughed. I laughed because he knew they weren't hysterical by any means but said them anyway despite his reputation in the comedy world. That was one of his greatest attributes: his selflessness and ability to disregard negativity in people. He took risks and loved what he did. He was an inspiration to most of his students and the tennis team. He was a friend to his colleagues, but the most stand-out quality that resonates in my mind was his everlasting love for his family. Pictures upon pictures cascaded along the walls and shelves in his classroom- pictures of beautiful babies in the arms of their equally beautiful mother. You were all his greatest success. He knew that. And he wants to see you succeed as well, no matter what difficulties you may face in life. Know that he is proud of you. Know that he cherishes you. Know that he loves you with everything he could possibly feel. You are incredibly lucky to be able to call your father Jeremy Fowler.
2 comments:
Lydia, this is absolutely amazing. All of your posts are ... I hadn't read through most of them until this morning, but you are an incredibly talented writer. This might be weird, but I went back to an older one, about your Dad, and I just wanted to tell you that mine did the same exact thing three years ago, and I remember it like it just happened. Out of all my friends, I was the only one who lived with that experience, and most of them still don't know the full story. But honestly, you're definitely not alone in that respect...I can completely relate.
:-)
I didn't know Mr. Fowler, but I can really feel the impact he had on your life, and that brief encounter, in itself, is one of the most beautiful things that can ever happen to someone.
I absolutely love your style as well -- you're INCREDIBLE! This year is going to be loads of fun...we sound like we have so many of the same interests and little quirks ...I am beyond excited to live with you AND have Narratives together!
Thank you so so much! That means a lot that you actually read through my posts and what not haha. And I am glad we can connect on so many levels, including parental situations. See you SOON! <3
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