Lately, I have been running through the process of analyzing the last few years of my life. In retrospect, a lot of the decisions I have made and paths I have chosen to take have obviously assisted me in my journey to my current state of existence, one of which I can be decently proud of; however, in dealing with my past practices, I have also come to encounter one essential element in my transformation as a person: encouragement.
There are two people who have truly molded me into the person typing these words that could hopefully someday impact the world. There are two people I have put my entire being into resisting the terrifying prospect of disappointing either one of them in any way, shape or form. There are two people I strive to replicate in some fashion each and every day. These two people are Mr. Mike Martin, my father, and Mr. Zack Kirk, my teacher and mentor. I can genuinely say that I would be nowhere near the mere thought of who I would like to become some day had it not been for their guidance, drive and passion for what they do...Mr. Kirk,
You are the one person that can make me do absolutely anything. Your unyielding desire to learn, and in turn, introduce your knowledge into the world through teaching or writing gives me an adamant drive to do the same. I could never tell you no. If you asked me for the most outlandish and absurd favor in the entire universe, I would find some way to achieve that standard you set for me. I could not bare to dissatisfy you. And that is why I feel the need to thank you, because I believe that a massive aspect of my success throughout high school came from that fear of letting you down. I achieved so many things I never thought possible because the absolute horror of disappointing you ignited a fire inside me, and I felt I could do anything. I just wanted to thank you for that.
Daddy,
I know you read this blog, and it makes me so incredibly happy that you do because it keeps me writing. I feel like its our secret world because Mom and Bill don't even know about it, and I don't want them to know. I want it to be ours. I want to keep you informed, and I want your support more than anything. You have always led me to believe I could achieve whatever I wanted, and no matter how unrealistic that feat might be (I could NEVER become a chemist or doctor :P), just knowing you believe in me is entirely enough. We have always had a special connection; we are so similar, and I like to believe I have never let you down because that thought in and of itself makes me uneasy. I want to make you proud, which is another thing that has kept me striving for the absolute best throughout my life, and for that, I thank you. I love you.
To the two most important people in my life: I do not know where I would be without you, and I mean that. I really do.
3 comments:
Number Three
After several months of reading and enjoying you blog I think that it is time that I finally comment. I write this knowing that it will be read around the world and I also confess that as I write it, there are tears in my eyes.
As we grow up and mature we find that successful people tend to admire and try to learn by the traits and habits of other sucessful people. Sometimes it is parents, but often it is that special teacher. My "mentor" was my criminal justice instructor at South Georgia College. Other than my parents he had more influence on me that any other person. It is clear from reading your blog that Mr. Kirk is that person to you. I have not had the honor of meeting him, but I tell him now that he has my thanks for what he has meant to you in helping shape your future.
As I grew up my greatest fear in life was disappointing "Howard and Frances". I was not concerned about spankings or "time out". But the thought of seeing the signs of disappointment on their face was something that I could not deal with. I did not always succeed, but I tried.
I am blessed and fortunate that I have four wonderful "kids". Michelle is going to be a great mother and will continue to be a success in the banking business. Jason is number one in his law school class and will continue the Martin legacy in the practice of law. Carrie will find her way and will continue to mature and she will find her niche in life. She has great beauty, kindness and intellect and will find that person, like Mr. Kirk, to help mentor her along.
And now I have to talk about you.
After your mother and I were divorced and she remarried you were told a lot of "stuff" about me. That "stuff" was designed to turn you against me. You were smart enough to know that what you were being told was not the Father that you knew and loved. You had the chance to turn against me, and take Carrie with you, and you did not do that. You speak of not wanting to disappoint me; the prospect of me now disppointing you is just as terrifying. Even though I still fear disappointing my parents, my greater fear is disappointing my children.
I believe that in every generation certain people are born to this earth with special talents and abilities. All are born with some, some are born with more. Lydia Grace Martin is one of those special people who have more. She was born with special beauty, intellect, wit, grace, charm and talent that few others have. She has the ability to chart her own course and go not only where, but as far as she wants to go.
I am lucky enough to call her my daughter.
So wherever your course takes you, remember as you look over your shoulder, that smiling(or sometimes frowning) face is a very proud Dad.
I love you!
I must confess, tears were not in hibernation while reading this wonderfully heartfelt and lovely comment. Thank you for saying what I have always wanted to hear from you. I love you endlessly!
Oh my God, Lydia and Mr. Martin, tears were on my end also.
Mr. Martin, teaching your daughter was one of the highlights of my life. Amazingly, she give me way to much credit. You have reared a respectful, humble, genius. Lydia has an unmatched eye for language and artistry of language. I think we will be both amazed at where this new journey will take her.
Lydia, teaching you has been a wonderful experience that I am glad will continue. And to think that when I got my first roll for AP Language in 2007, your name was not on it. I went up to you in the hallway, scoweled at you and said you must immediately enroll in the course... the rest is history, huh?
Your father is so right when he says "Lydia Grace Martin is one of those special people who have more. She was born with special beauty, intellect, wit, grace, charm and talent that few others have. She has the ability to chart her own course and go not only where, but as far as she wants to go."
Lydia, where do you want to go? Set your course and get to stepping. There are some amazing things out there waiting for you.
And I am lucky enough to have called her my studen, and more importantly, my friend...
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