Now I see your face before me. It could launch one thousand ships to bring your heart back to my island, as the sand beneath me slips. As I burn up in your presence, and I know now how it feels to be weakened like Achilles, with you always at my heels.
I'm missing something deep within my life, and it is killing me.
I want so much to let it out and be with him as often as I used to, but I don't think it can ever happen again. It's slightly funny how drastically things can change in an instant; I don't like that at all, either. At least when change is gradual, you are alloted time to fully understand things and emotions are not constant, and you can better cope with the repercussions.
Sudden change is like venom striking your blood stream ever so quickly, leaving you no time to contemplate the meaning of everything leading up to that one decisive moment. What you are ultimately left with are memories, and sometimes they just don't possess the ability to be truly sufficient.
Perhaps it was love; Perhaps it was uncertainty; Perhaps it was a search for meaning. Whatever the case may be, I know it was passionate. We connected on every level expected, and it was ripped from under us, not a moment's notice. I don't want to believe the world, in some vague fascination with rules, was against it because no one knew, no one knows, and no one can ever fathom our serene sense of comfort in one another's eyes. Oh, those deep eyes. I can still see his soul screaming at me, understanding me, accepting me.
His voice soothed my quarrels, and his advice provided a new found wisdom within my priorities. His touch promoted an ambiguous seizure of emotions that terrorized my heart, and left me paralyzed in a stream of thought. His love was in the stars, and I make sure to watch them from time to time just so I can remember what it felt like. We danced beneath the night sky in silence, but words were entirely too cliche for our moments of infinite bliss. So instead we watched eachother fall more and more in love as the night went on, and the music in our heads softly faded in the distance of our minds so as not to distract our thought transmission.
Telepathy was our secret weapon.
Crying won't bring him back, but maybe thinking will.
11 comments:
Lydia!
i don't know if this is creative writing or not; i'm thinking it is.
either way, i comprehend and understand it completely.
"Sudden change is like venom striking your blood stream ever so quickly, leaving you no time to contemplate the meaning of everything leading up to that one decisive moment."
everything with jacob and i occurred so quickly, i suppose, that i was swept up in him. now, with the decaying of our relationship having occurred so rapidly, i'm even more swept up in confusion and hurt. i just can't understand anything anymore.
everything occurs so swiftly, and has been for my high school career, that it's difficult to find a place to stand surely.
mr. kirk commented my journal, saying, "doubt is the product of an analytical mind."
i think i'd rather be dumb and sure, then intelligent and full of doubt.
i just want you to know you're right on the mark with this, lydia.
i miss you, lydia!
you, will, nirouz, corbin, and i must hang out over this break!
let's be frank. you know who i am. also, you are a terrible, terrible friend. i won't say this to you, because well...quite frankly you're and over reactive bitch. i could care less about your ambitions, or dreams. you are selfish, and the most self centered fickle bitch i have ever met.
and if you figure who this is. great. i am getting tired of trying to blatantly explain to you our problems.
i really could care less. Clearly, you only need those who talk shit about you, and won't be there for you in the long run.
oh well. i hope your life is good, because the friendship we have established is over. if there was one.
whoa anonymous, if you dont like her journaling or her don't read it or be around her, however, you cowarding behind a private name and assuming she knows who you are, when she clearly doesnt, pretty much sums up what you are and have the potential to be as well. stop critisizing if you hate it so much.
oh, and anonymous, bitter much?
whoa anonymous, if you dont like her journaling or her don't read it or be around her, however, you cowarding behind a private name and assuming she knows who you are, when she clearly doesnt, pretty much sums up what you are and have the potential to be as well. stop critisizing if you hate it so much.
thank you megan.
i do miss you terribly,
and i hope things slowly start making more and more sense to you rather than happen at paces so quickly you forget who you are or lose track of yourself.
i love you dearly!
and thank you, lauren, for saying everything i wanted to say. sadly, you read my journal before i got the chance.
and anonymous, i don't know who you are, but you obviously are not blatant about anything...you are leaving anonymous comments. i don't know your harsh words through writing any more than your lack of phone calls. if i am such a terrible friend and person, then leave me alone because i apparently have no meaning in your life whatsoever. and seeing as how i have no clue as to who you are, you might as well disappear because i could care less about someone who claims to be a good friend of mine, yet refuses to say any of this to my face, or at least with their own name.
you'd be surprised who knows what...maybe that's why things happened the way they did.
why are you being so cruel?
the problem with saying it to your face is you are irrational, and let me be honest, you have a legion of insane shit talking friends.
and that wasn't me before. i am not having a blogspot war. it is just fun to post contradictions about your meaningless bullshit writing.
looks like her "insane posse" isn't the only one good at shit-talking anonymous. grow up.
Post a Comment