So I'm sitting here, watching Matilda, pondering life and all it entails.
Lately I have been asking the question "what am I going to do with my life?" Thus far, I haven't had a concrete, eye opening answer yet, and it is slightly disconcerting. I am ignorant to the prospect of the college I am going to attend, the career path I am going to choose, even tomorrow's events are not entirely clear to me. I have never felt so unprepared or unsure in my life. I don't know if I want to travel beyond the boundaries of Georgia and meet millions of more incredible people, or if I want to continue to develop relationships with the already fantastic people I know now: the people that have had the most monumental impact on my life, my muses.
Most importantly, though, I don't want to let myself down. I don't want to neglect which ever talent has been inadvertently bestowed upon me, but I am still in the dark as to what that may be. People are given certain fortes in order to make the world a better or more tolerable place, but until I find my place in the world, I am afraid to step out of my comfort zone and sincerely say "this is what I am meant to be doing and where I am supposed to be."
I keep returning to the teachers I have had that have helped me become a more secure person, and I want nothing more than to be able to do that for someone else. But then my mind wanders to the unmotivated, impudent children of the future and I can't help but be disappointed. I don't want to hate any more than I already do, and I wouldn't want to teach some of my peers; it would drive me out of my mind. We're lucky that there are those that sacrifice their sanity to deal with students of that nature, but I'm not sure if I have the strength or will to be one of them.
I just wish some light would be shed on the subject so I could move on.
Lately I have been asking the question "what am I going to do with my life?" Thus far, I haven't had a concrete, eye opening answer yet, and it is slightly disconcerting. I am ignorant to the prospect of the college I am going to attend, the career path I am going to choose, even tomorrow's events are not entirely clear to me. I have never felt so unprepared or unsure in my life. I don't know if I want to travel beyond the boundaries of Georgia and meet millions of more incredible people, or if I want to continue to develop relationships with the already fantastic people I know now: the people that have had the most monumental impact on my life, my muses.
Most importantly, though, I don't want to let myself down. I don't want to neglect which ever talent has been inadvertently bestowed upon me, but I am still in the dark as to what that may be. People are given certain fortes in order to make the world a better or more tolerable place, but until I find my place in the world, I am afraid to step out of my comfort zone and sincerely say "this is what I am meant to be doing and where I am supposed to be."
I keep returning to the teachers I have had that have helped me become a more secure person, and I want nothing more than to be able to do that for someone else. But then my mind wanders to the unmotivated, impudent children of the future and I can't help but be disappointed. I don't want to hate any more than I already do, and I wouldn't want to teach some of my peers; it would drive me out of my mind. We're lucky that there are those that sacrifice their sanity to deal with students of that nature, but I'm not sure if I have the strength or will to be one of them.
I just wish some light would be shed on the subject so I could move on.
1 comment:
Future English Teachers of America!
Thank you, Eddie.
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