Manifestations;

It was one of those evenings that started out as simplistic as they come. Plans were made, manipulated and eventually put into action. The car rides initiated, the music was perfected and, in the grand theme of tradition, pictures were undoubtedly taken. The six of us embarked on an Atlanta-bound adventure with no great expectations in mind, and we ended up with an unforgettable sensation in our hearts.

I went to Screen on the Green last night with five of the most wonderful girls I know. Originally, we went to "watch" Footloose; however, those plans were foiled once the clouds above the Atlanta skyline became picture-esque and conversation bloomed. Topics that would seem rather frivolous to most ignited our minds and tranquilized our thoughts with brilliance. We just sat on our blanket in a circle and enjoyed one another's company for hours- well, until our parking meter ran out. It's difficult for me to fathom the pure fortune that played such an integral part in my final placement for a home. Almost six years ago I didn't even know these girls existed, and I certainly had no concept of the impact they would subsequently have on my life. And now I cannot imagine my life in their absence. It is literally incredible how far we have all come. I cannot picture myself anywhere else. I don't even know who I would be had I stayed in New York; I don't know that person at all. Sometimes I wonder if I would like that version of myself slightly better, almost as though I would possess certain qualities I wish I exhibited now that I don't. Perhaps in that world I would be more caring or reserved; perhaps I would have continued to act and sing for people, and maybe I would have enjoyed it so much that I right now I would be venturing to turn those passions into a career. I might have scared myself out of such ambitions, but in that world I am who I wanted to be at one point. We are faced with infinite paths and possibilities in this lifetime, which is slightly ironic because we only get one lifetime to live and experience a perpetual amount of events. It is almost a little unfair. How can everything be pre-destined if there are limitless outcomes to everything we encounter, and changing our minds is so incredibly easy and, at times, convenient? Maybe we make our own fate without realizing it, and maybe that is the way it is supposed to be.

Let's Make Music Together.

It is almost as though there is too much that has happened to even report an update of sorts. I am a high school graduate, officially. It doesn't feel different. It doesn't bring tears to my eyes. It doesn't make me feel any more mature than I did before. If anything, it gives me strength to progress forward in life and tackle my next adventure with a forceful ardor: college. I am so incredibly ready. It's slightly ridiculous how prepared I feel for Oglethorpe next year. I am going to grow in ways previously unfathomable and learn in capacities previously not granted. Everything is oh so wonderful.
Now, I'm not the biggest fan of summer heat; however, the last week or so has been immensely monumental within my short yet vibrant life. I am so incredibly in love with a boy who truly and literally completes my soul. We have become so close in such an abrupt amount of time, but it feels more than appropriate or appreciated. It feels so...perfect. For a moment it caught me off guard and frightened my nerves slightly, but letting him in, letting him see who I truly am and having him love me for it has given me more than new found confidence; it has given me more of a reason to live than ever before. I never knew I was entitled to feel this way and have those feelings reciprocated in any manner. I never knew I could completely let myself go and learn to love someone as much as, if not more than, myself. I would do anything to have these emotions flood my body and never leave, even if they exist in simple memories- I could feel this way forever. I could love this boy forever.
The sun was finally fading. As is custom on a mid-June, summer evening, it made a valiant attempt at shining throughout the night, subsequently putting the moon out of a job and leaving those awaiting the stars arrival rather disappointed. And then those familiar and golden hues began to graze the sky ever so lightly, and the glowing, red ball of fire fell beneath the trees and over the horizon to warn the others of a new day, and we- we were left with nightfall.
So we made our way to the golf course, a blanket and ice cream at our disposal. There was a small opening between the trees that caught our struggling eyes, and we proceeded to lay the blanket down among the singing crickets and dancing fireflies: a symphony of nature.
"I have always loved fireflies," I said, "They're the closest I have ever come to real magic."
We layed down beside one another and continued to search eachother's souls for one more thing to adore. Talk of music and books and memories joined the harmonizing crickets, and we couldn't stop smiling. But they were sincere smiles- the kind where you know it was you and only you who caused such a sign of happiness. They were the type of smiles that graze the mouth only after something genuinely makes your heart beat faster and your eyes cease blinking because you don't want to miss a second.
"Lydia, let's make music together," he said in his soft and reserved voice, "Like Sonny and Cher."
And my reply?
"Absolutely."
I sat up, and he followed by kissing my shoulder and saying: "I love you. So much." And I honestly believed in those moments that I could never be so happy again.
But I am. Every second I am in his presence- I am that happy.