Dark Shadows;

So I'm sitting here, watching Matilda, pondering life and all it entails.
Lately I have been asking the question "what am I going to do with my life?" Thus far, I haven't had a concrete, eye opening answer yet, and it is slightly disconcerting. I am ignorant to the prospect of the college I am going to attend, the career path I am going to choose, even tomorrow's events are not entirely clear to me. I have never felt so unprepared or unsure in my life. I don't know if I want to travel beyond the boundaries of Georgia and meet millions of more incredible people, or if I want to continue to develop relationships with the already fantastic people I know now: the people that have had the most monumental impact on my life, my muses.
Most importantly, though, I don't want to let myself down. I don't want to neglect which ever talent has been inadvertently bestowed upon me, but I am still in the dark as to what that may be. People are given certain fortes in order to make the world a better or more tolerable place, but until I find my place in the world, I am afraid to step out of my comfort zone and sincerely say "this is what I am meant to be doing and where I am supposed to be."
I keep returning to the teachers I have had that have helped me become a more secure person, and I want nothing more than to be able to do that for someone else. But then my mind wanders to the unmotivated, impudent children of the future and I can't help but be disappointed. I don't want to hate any more than I already do, and I wouldn't want to teach some of my peers; it would drive me out of my mind. We're lucky that there are those that sacrifice their sanity to deal with students of that nature, but I'm not sure if I have the strength or will to be one of them.
I just wish some light would be shed on the subject so I could move on.

Lack of forte;

The night was overcrowded
with clouds and suspense
The moon tried to shine on
but the expanse of haze was too thick
to prevail

It was the stars' night off
which made it even harder to
see his eyes
But in the dark distance
clarity was born

Hope was reaffirmed
and love reached a pinacle:
an unstoppable, driving force
insatiable and unquenchable

The sun made its presence known,
pretentious and unavoidable
It broke through the trees
and daylight masked the lovers

...I am not a poet.

Satire of the mind and body;

To be perfectly blunt, I can sincerely say that most of the human race puts me in a state of disbelief and disgust.
I wish I had more faith in people, but they just aren't giving me any reason to put in the strength or effort required to maintain hope.
A boy at my school was beat up last week because of his sexuality. It is entirely disheartening, to say the least, and such knowledge makes me physically ill. How can someone be so sadistic? To be beaten up for any reason is uncalled for, but because of sexual preferences- it just reinstates the premeditated notion that people are idiots, and no one can be trusted.
I don't want to live in a world where gun control is a main political concern to be elected into an office because quite frankly, the fact that we are spending more time on worrying about someone's right to own a gun as opposed to someone's right to live as they please is disconcerting in my eyes.
People lie, and cheat, and steal, and go out of their way to make another's day that much more miserable either for personal enjoyment or simple lack of character. Those that are ignorant to their own nature are inconceivable and beyond help; Nothing can save us. Worries and priorities are not in the right places, and it is an on going quarrel that is going to continue to spiral down a hill of utter disappointment.
It is to the point where certain individuals feel they must take their own life to ultimately be happy. Because in their eyes, no one on earth can do complacency justice, and maybe that is true.
I wish this wasn't the case.

writer's block.

Her heart refused to cease the rapid beating, and her body was no longer taking requests: it was completely absent from all brain waves and messages. One foot in front of the other, she trailed on, unsure of what she was doing the entire time. It wasn't fear, though, it was anticipation, and perhaps a bit of hesitance as to what would be the outcome of her decision.
The leaves crunched beneath her feet, but it was soothing like a soundtrack. The cool air grazed her face, causing slightly more pink to paint her cheeks, creating a fresh canvas for anyone to marvel. The sun was setting beyond the trees, leaving a legacy of colliding color to linger. And each new step made the last one seem worth the effort.
It used to be hard to imagine a reckless love story, but now she was the protagonist. As she walked along the freshly paved road, the prospect of soulmates clouded her already weary mind. What used to be so trite now seemed completely incredible and unexpected. The wind reminded her of his voice, and it kept her going, all the while making her nose red and her nerves fade.
Pride had never been her forte, but exceptions are meant to make life exciting; he was her exception. As she reached the front door, the wind was no longer blowing, and his voice became a whisper in the back of her mind, causing her to slow down to an eventual hault. The sun was gone, but the stars were coming, and so were Fear and Regret. Her strength was ephemeral.
I am at a loss for what is to come...

The sun glistened on the horizon, creating a sequin covered expansion of beautiful blue water.
She was finally at peace.